Dating has become an interesting challenge these days. I’ve spoken with women from age ranges 20s – 50s and the response is typically the same…a slow shaking of the head and some form of “it’s not good.” Well, I will say that we just haven’t met the right one God has for us. I re-entered the dating pool several months ago and it is definitely different.
Pastor Mike Jr. on Instagram has a reel that has been re-posted numerous times and I would see it several times a day on my Instagram feed. “Many of you are afraid to close the chapter and turn the page because you know that person will not be in the next chapter.” The more I saw this reel, the more I knew that I needed to close a chapter on dating someone. Once I made the final decision that I needed to move forward, I deleted the text messages (which indicated that I had been unknowingly sharing location with him), deleted the pictures, and did something that I have never done, set a block on the contact. It’s what I needed for my mental health. He is an amazing man, but I have to care for him from a distance.
Once I closed the chapter and turned the page, beautiful things started happening in my life. As hard as it was to shut this person out, I had to move forward and do what was best for me. The tears flowed, I prayed, and kept moving in a positive direction. Many of you reading this need to delete the text messages so that you can stop reliving past hurts and what coulda been for the friendship/relationship. You need to delete the pictures. If you can’t stop stalking their social media page, you need to stop following and/or unfriend him/her.
Life has its chapters, each one filled with its unique stories, emotions, and lessons. Among these, closing the chapter on a dating friendship can be one of the most challenging transitions. Whether the relationship was brief or spanned years, the bonds formed can make moving on seem daunting. Yet, as we turn the page, we find not just an ending, but the promise of new beginnings. This post explores the difficulties of closing such chapters and the profound benefits of embracing new ones, even when the person we once cherished won’t be part of the future. We’ll also draw inspiration from biblical scriptures to guide us through this emotional terrain.
The Challenges of Closing the Chapter
Emotional Attachment and Memories
One of the hardest parts of ending a dating friendship is dealing with the emotional attachment and shared memories. Every place you visited together, every inside joke, and every tender moment can make the person feel omnipresent in your life. The thought of these memories fading can be heartbreaking.
Fear of Loneliness
The fear of being alone is another significant hurdle. After having someone who was a constant part of your life, facing the prospect of solitude can be terrifying. We often cling to relationships out of fear of what life might look like without that person.
Identity and Self-Worth
In long-term relationships, we sometimes intertwine our identity and self-worth with the other person. When the relationship ends, it can feel like a part of us is lost, leading to an identity crisis and questions about our value.
Hope and Regret
There might be lingering hope for reconciliation or regret over things said and done. This can keep us emotionally tethered to the past, making it difficult to move forward. The “what ifs” and “if onlys” can haunt us, preventing closure.
Biblical Wisdom for Difficult Times
The Bible offers profound wisdom for navigating these turbulent waters. Here are three scriptures that can provide comfort and guidance:
Ecclesiastes 3:1-4: “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.”
This passage reminds us that life is full of seasons. Just as there are times for joy and togetherness, there are also times for parting and healing. Recognizing that this is a natural part of life can help us accept the end of a chapter.
Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
This scripture reassures us that God has a plan for our lives, one that is filled with hope and a bright future. Trusting in this divine plan can help us let go of the past and look forward to what lies ahead.
Philippians 3:13-14: “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Paul’s words encourage us to focus on the future and strive toward our divine calling, leaving the past behind. This can be a powerful motivator to turn the page and embrace new beginnings.
The Benefits of Closing the Chapter
Personal Growth and Self-Discovery
Ending a relationship opens up space for personal growth and self-discovery. Without the influence of the other person, we have the opportunity to rediscover who we are and what we truly want in life. This can lead to a stronger sense of self and greater self-worth.
New Opportunities
Closing one chapter makes room for new opportunities. Whether it’s new friendships, new love, or new experiences, the end of one relationship can be the beginning of many beautiful things. Embracing change can lead to unexpected and fulfilling experiences.
Healing and Renewal
Just as a forest needs periodic fires to renew itself, we sometimes need to let go of old relationships to heal and renew. This process can be painful, but it ultimately leads to a healthier and more vibrant life. By letting go, we give ourselves the chance to heal from past wounds and emerge stronger.
Clarity and Purpose
Moving on from a dating friendship can bring clarity and a renewed sense of purpose. Without the distractions and emotional turmoil of a struggling relationship, we can focus more clearly on our goals and dreams. This clarity can guide us to make better decisions and pursue paths that are truly aligned with our values.
Embracing New Beginnings
Turning the page on a dating friendship doesn’t mean forgetting the person or the experiences you shared. It means acknowledging their place in your story and recognizing that your story continues. Here are some steps to embrace new beginnings:
Allow Yourself to Grieve
It’s important to allow yourself to feel the pain of the loss. Grieving is a natural part of the healing process. Let yourself mourn the end of the relationship, but also remind yourself that this sorrow is temporary.
Seek Support
Lean on friends, family, or a support group. Talking about your feelings can provide relief and perspective. Sometimes, simply knowing that others have gone through similar experiences can be incredibly comforting.
Engage in Self-Care
Take time to care for yourself. This might mean indulging in activities you love, taking up new hobbies, or simply giving yourself the space to relax and unwind. Self-care is crucial for emotional healing and regaining your strength.
Set New Goals
Focus on your future by setting new goals. These can be personal, professional, or spiritual. Having something to strive for can give you a sense of purpose and direction, helping you to move forward with confidence.
Embrace the Unknown
Finally, embrace the unknown with an open heart. Life is unpredictable, and the end of one chapter often leads to new and exciting adventures. Trust in the journey, have faith in yourself, and believe that good things are ahead.
Closing the chapter on a dating friendship is undoubtedly challenging, filled with emotional hurdles and moments of doubt. However, by embracing the end as a natural part of life’s rhythm, we open ourselves to the beauty of new beginnings. Drawing strength from biblical wisdom, we can find comfort in the knowledge that there is a time for everything, that God has a hopeful plan for us, and that our future holds promise and potential.
As we turn the page, let us remember that our story is far from over. Each ending is but a prelude to a new beginning, and each chapter brings us closer to the fullness of our life’s journey. Embrace the new chapter with hope, courage, and faith, knowing that the best is yet to come.
With Love & Support,
Dr. Monica
#love2life
