Love Yourself to Life

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A Willingness to Change

Written by Laura Carter and Monica Debro

Change, it’s going to happen whether we want it to or not. There are times that change is good and other times that we wish something better could’ve happened. We can plan dates, times, seasons, and reasons to make things different in our lives.

No matter what your present circumstances may be, they are subject to change.  Go outside and look at what you see, feel, and hear.  Then go back outside in six hours.  You will notice various changes.  It’s the same thing with our lives and the things around us.  The weather outside will continue its designed path no matter what the plan is for our daily routine.  The news announcer will report what the predicted weather will be for the next seven day and if happening, the path of a storm. We may adjust our outside activities according to the report. This may include putting on a jacket, rain boots, pants instead of shorts (or vice versa), a scarf, hat, or whatever adjustment we need to make based on the weather outside. If we are paying close attention, we take extra items based on how the weather may change while we are out and about during our day.

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2021 Goal Planning

I specifically remember being away from home for a workshop in November 2019. As I was packing to leave, I’d made plans to work on my 2020 vision book during the downtime in my hotel room. I gathered my vision book that I keep adding pages to each year and all the necessary supplies and magazines that I would need.  There was a level of excitement as I thought about what I wanted to accomplish in 2020 and all the great things that would happen. I was ready!

On the first evening of the workshop, I laid out the supplies and started cutting words and pictures from the magazine. I was strategic in making sure that I added goals that would be challenging. You may have heard the quote “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you” Fred DeVito. I wanted to be challenged and changed. I didn’t want things to stay the same in my personal and professional lives. I wanted to be better, to feel better, to do better.

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Have You Made Your Self-Care List and Checked it Twice?

We all make lists for one reason or another. Shopping. Groceries. Errands. Home. Businesses. Work. Family. Friends. Packing. Cooking. Lists for the list—LOL.  And at the current moment—Christmas lists that go on and one into the late hours of the night. With these lists and more, have you made a self-care list?

Taking care of others and people-pleasing can easily cause burnout and deflate the ability to experience authentic happiness. There are many reasons why it is important to be consistent in practicing self-care.

  • Promotes positive feelings
  • Helps to focus on the future
  • Allows for quality reflection
  • Maintains self-confidence
  • Decrease stress
  • Increases resilience
  • Brings a level of happiness
  • Rejuvenates inner thoughts and well-being
  • Increases the ability to focus and complete tasks
  • Keeps you motivated
  • Improves happiness, thought process, and decision-making
  • Increases the ability to be patient with others
  • Demonstrates saying YES to YOU as you LOVE YOURSELF TO LIFE!

Self-care prevents us from pouring from “not enough” after we’ve given our all to others. When we don’t rejuvenate ourselves, it decreases our abilities to genuinely be available for others. When not genuinely available, one can find himself/herself simply going through the motions to make it through the moment and day.

A few examples to practice self-care include:

  • Getting enough rest
  • Healthy eating
  • Drink plenty of water
  • Positive self-talk and affirmations
  • Maintaining a manageable schedule
  • Delegating to others—you can’t do it all
  • Exercise
  • Annual physical exams
    • Men—Monthly Self-Breast Exam (yes, men should be doing this as well) and Annual Physical—including prostate exam if included depending on age and family history
  • Get dressed when you go out of the house. Please, please don’t go out in pajamas, wrinkled clothes, and hair not combed. Always be presentable because you never know who you’ll see.
  • Releasing yourself from toxic relationships. Toxic relationships are draining and will take away any excitement, energy, and effort to be around the person(s).
  • Develop and practice healthy boundaries.
  • Forgiving others—not for them, but for you.
  • Don’t lose yourself in a relationship. Maintain your own identity and continue doing things that bring happiness.
  • Take yourself out on a date. During COVID-19, that may be a stay-at-home date. Have food delivered, choose a movie or playlist, get dressed, and enjoy time alone.
  • When you feel it’s safe, take some time to go on a vacation. Whether it is driving somewhere or flying, travel, and go someplace new. A getaway for a few days is refreshing.
  • Take a day to just do nothing. No computer. No cleaning. No shopping. Just rest and relax. I’m still working on this myself.
  • Learning to use the short answer of “No.” By the way, a “no” answer doesn’t require an explanation.
  • Step away from difficult tasks to allow time to refocus.
  • Changing your environment when things get overwhelming or stressful. Examples include—turning off the television, playing calming music, burning candles, dimming the lights (if possible), going for a walk, aromatherapy, sitting quietly to meditate, or journaling.
  • Create a home spa for relaxation
  • Clean and declutter your home
  • Take a break from social media

Healthcare professionals, as we provide care to others, it is equally important that we take time to nourish our bodies and minds. When was the last time you had quality time for self-care? Do you practice self-care by taking the required lunch break? This will allow time for you to step away and recharge. The people we serve need us to be healthy, happy, and whole. Have you had a massage lately? If not, what excuses are you making? Not enough time. Forgetting to make an appointment. I guarantee someone reading this has a spa gift card that hasn’t been used. Wow! I just remembered that I have one tucked away that hasn’t been used for self-care. Making an appointment tomorrow!

If you’re an entrepreneur, have you made a self-care list to prevent yourself to keep from getting overloaded as you continue to grow your business? I’ll say it again, the people we’re serving need us to be healthy, happy, and whole.

All-in-all, self-care is necessary to keep a balance in all areas; physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and financial. This may require not doing some things to focus on self-care.  Why? Because YOU ARE WORTH IT!

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Who or What Has Your Power?

In today’s world with everything going on around us, it’s easy to lose ourselves and forget how to use our voices. It has become easy to lose our POWER. How? I’m glad you asked.

  • We lose our power by watching what others are doing and try to keep up with them in our personal and professional lives.
  •  Not knowing our true value and how we can help others
  • Allowing others to degrade our self-worth, which negatively affects our self-esteem
  • Lusting after what someone else has and wanting to obtain it at any cost.

By staying in the past and allowing whatever happened to hold us hostage and prevent us from moving forward We lose our voices because of something that was said to us in one environment or another. Our voices are necessary. Our voices are powerful. Our voices and stories will help someone else. Use Your Voice! Snatch back your POWER! If you have already given your power away, I demand you to take it back. Why? Because YOU ARE WORTHY!!

Sing it with me “I’ve got the POWER!”

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How Can Sisters Support Each Other’s Dreams?

As I was perusing through my pictures, the backdrop of one with my sister and I at the Essence Festival caught my eye. I vividly remember the first time I saw the backdrop and because it is a necessary reminder of the importance of supporting each other. At this moment, I want you to stop and assess your “support level.” How consistent have you been at supporting your sister’s dreams? Do you support anyone’s dreams or is the sole focus on you and what you can get out of others? Do you have an open hand to receive and a closed to give? 

Sisters aren’t defined by blood or genetics. Not all of my “sisters” are in my family. I only have two blood sisters, but have the friendship and support of several women that I call “sister” or my “sista.” When we support each other as sisters, we can accomplish a lot more for the Kingdom. Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil.

For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 ESV

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