Think about these questions…

• How would you intervene if someone you know is in a domestic violence/intimate partner violence relationship?
• Would you STOP to help or TURN and walk away as if you didn’t see anything?
• Do you ignore what you see and say or do nothing? Or do you intervene and start the often avoided, but necessary conversation to address the abuse?

I want you to take some time to really consider what you would do in any of the above situations. The victim could be your family, friend, coworker, neighbor, church member, etc. Domestic violence occurs to women and men regardless of their age, culture, socioeconomic class, religion, or race. It is not prejudice against anyone, yet can affect everyone.

Every day, online news is filled with murders, murders/suicides, and arrests related to domestic/intimate partner violence. I wonder how many people knew about the abuse, yet said nothing.

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a pervasive and serious problem that affects many people around the world. It is a pattern of abusive behavior in which one partner seeks to control and dominate the other through physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Domestic violence can happen to anyone, regardless of their age, gender, race, or sexual orientation. It is important to understand the signs of domestic violence and know how to help someone who is in an abusive relationship.

If you know someone who is in a domestic violence relationship, it is crucial to approach the situation with sensitivity, empathy, and understanding.

Here are some practical steps you can take to help:

Educate yourself: The first step in helping someone who is in a domestic violence relationship is to educate yourself about the issue. Learn about the signs of abuse and understand how it affects the victim. This will help you to recognize the signs of abuse in someone else’s relationship and help you to provide the best possible support.

Listen to the person: If someone confides in you about their abusive relationship, it is essential to listen without judgment. Allow them to express their feelings, thoughts, and concerns. Offer a safe space for them to talk about their experiences and validate their emotions. It is important not to pressure them to leave the relationship, as this can be a complex decision.

Believe them: Victims of domestic violence are often disbelieved, blamed, or told that they are overreacting. It is important to believe the person and acknowledge that what they are experiencing is real. Domestic violence is a serious issue that requires empathy and understanding.

Offer practical support: There are many ways you can offer practical support to someone who is in an abusive relationship. This may include offering a safe place to stay, providing emotional support, offering financial assistance, or helping them to access legal advice or counseling.

Respect their autonomy: It is important to respect the person’s autonomy and allow them to make their own decisions. Avoid pressuring them to leave the relationship or making decisions for them. It is important to empower the person to make their own choices and support them in whatever decision they make.

Help them develop a safety plan: A safety plan is a personalized plan that outlines the steps a person can take to stay safe in an abusive relationship. Help the person develop a safety plan that is tailored to their specific situation. This may include identifying safe places to go, developing a code word, and having important documents and resources readily available.

Encourage them to seek professional help: Encourage the person to seek professional help, such as counseling or therapy. Domestic violence can have long-term effects on a person’s mental health and well-being. A trained professional can provide the necessary support and resources to help the person recover from the trauma of abuse.

Domestic Violence Hotline

Contact a domestic violence hotline: If you are unsure of how to help or are concerned about the person’s safety, contact a domestic violence hotline. Hotlines provide confidential support, information, and resources for victims of domestic violence. They can offer advice on how to help someone in an abusive relationship and connect you with local support services. For more information from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence NCADV

Be patient: Recovery from domestic violence is a long and difficult process. It is important to be patient and offer ongoing support to the person. Recovery takes time and the person may need ongoing support, even after leaving the abusive relationship.

Domestic violence is a serious issue that requires a compassionate and understanding response. If you know someone who is in a domestic violence relationship, it is essential to approach the situation with sensitivity and understanding. Remember that your support can make a difference in someone’s life and help them to break the cycle of abuse.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you or someone you know is in a domestic violence relationship and needs help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or SMS: Text START to 88788.

So again I ask, what would you do?