SILENCE! “Shhh! be quiet! Don’t draw attention to me or he’ll find me.” She’s afraid, but she doesn’t want to say anything. She’s afraid, because she’s not sure who she can trust. She’s afraid of what you’ll think about her when she reveals the truths of her relationship. She’s afraid, but not sure how she will financially survive without him. She’s afraid of what he’ll do if she leaves. She’s afraid of what he’ll do if she stays. She’s afraid because she doesn’t know if she will survive the next beating. She’s afraid that he’s actually going to love her TO DEATH.
There are many fears a woman faces when in a domestic violence relationship. Unfortunately, one of the fears is speaking up due to threats made by the abuser. Victims often live in fear and are controlled by verbal threats and violence. She fears for her life if she or anyone else reports the abuse. She fears for the lives of those she loves if she reports the abuse or attempts to leave the relationship. SILENCE! She is kept silent and beaten down emotionally which allows the abuser to maintain power and control.
“As women, it is important that we notice any character changes in our family members and friends who may be involved in an abusive relationship. She may not openly express to anyone and admit that the abuse is occurring, but as her friend, you owe it to her to ask questions. I would encourage you to ask her in person instead of over the telephone. We know how to masquerade on the telephone, but in person, body language can make all the difference to what is actually said. Pay attention to her facial expressions, her eyes to see if she tears up, and her body language.” (Debro, M., Broken Believer No More, page 84)
If you suspect abuse, feel confident in talking to the woman about your concerns. She is counting on you. She needs you to speak up and allow her the freedom of being transparent and trusting you to help her through this difficult time. Provide a safe, nonjudgement zone. Don’t allow her to remain silent anymore. Help her to see that in healthy relationships, the two people involved have a a clearly-defined sense of their own identities. They know who they are and value their sense of worth. She needs YOU!
The question remains: How are you going to respond? Will you help her to understand that “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” (Proverbs 29:25)
A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. (Psalm 17:17 NLT) (Emphasis mine)
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
1-800-787-3224 (TTY for Deaf/hard of hearing)
#nomore #speakup #enddomesticviolence #takeaction #Love2Life