“The dynamics of an abusive situation can vary miles long. Maybe you watched your mom get abused or you may even think abuse is normal. You may even like being abused or maybe you accept abuse because you believe you can make someone love you. Talking down to an abused person will not open their eyes. You’re just doing the same thing their abuser does. Sometimes a woman doesn’t know where she even lost herself! She just knows she found herself in an abusive situation. An abuser generally won’t just leave. They’ll call you out by your name, tell you, you can’t cook, attend church with you, and criticize you from sun up to sun down but will not just leave. Also, most people will have high respect for an abuser while the abused stands idly by smiling and knowing the truth but … won’t say anything. It’s not ok. I appreciate Monica L DeBro for her vision and mission to help the abused.” Casey Perry
Dynamics of Abuse
The dynamics of abuse can vary depending on the type of abuse, the individuals involved, and the specific circumstances of the situation. However, there are some common patterns and dynamics that are often present in abusive relationships.
One common dynamic is the power and control that the abuser exerts over the victim. This can manifest in various ways, such as through physical violence, emotional manipulation, financial abuse, or sexual coercion. The abuser may use tactics such as isolation, gaslighting, or intimidation to maintain control over the victim.
Another dynamic that often occurs is a cycle of abuse. This cycle typically involves three phases: the tension-building phase, the acute battering incident, and the honeymoon phase. During the tension-building phase, the abuser becomes increasingly irritable and controlling, while the victim may try to appease the abuser in order to avoid conflict. Eventually, the tension builds to a point where an acute battering incident occurs, which may involve physical or emotional abuse. Afterward, the abuser may apologize and try to make amends during the honeymoon phase, which can create a false sense of hope and reinforce the victim’s attachment to the abuser.
Trauma Bonding
In some cases, victims may also experience a phenomenon called “trauma bonding,” which is a deep emotional attachment to the abuser that develops because of the abuse. This can make it difficult for victims to leave the relationship, even if they recognize that it is harmful.
It is important to note that abuse is never the victim’s fault and that seeking help is a necessary and courageous step toward healing. There are resources available for those who are experiencing abuse, including hotlines, counseling services, and support groups.
Help is Available
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you or someone you know is in a domestic violence relationship and needs help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or SMS: Text START to 88788.
NCADV Hotline